As adolescents and teens turn toward their approaching adult self, they seem to be pulling away from parents.
If a parent could actually get inside the mind of their teen, they would find a full scale battle being waged. Youth and innocence is fighting the onslaught of adult freedom and enlightenment. Teens long for their independence, while secretly clinging to their fear of being away from mom and dad. This battle leaves collateral damage in its wake. Parents are left in a state of confusion and hurt parental pride.
Don't fall into despair if your teen is fighting you at every turn. It is the law of the 'growing into maturity' jungle. Every piece of advice you offer, will likely go in one ear, by-passing the logical part of your teens brain, emerging out the other ear, leaving no trace that it had ever been there. Take heart in the knowledge that they will remember some of your sage advice; unfortunately, they will tell you this little tidbit well on in their adult years.
Adolescents and teens need this time of pulling away from their parents. They are testing the waters of unchartered territory in their world. How you, as the parent, react to this rebellious nature, will determine what your role will be in your young adult's new life. If you react with too much negativity, you run the risk of ostracizing yourself from your teen. Too much leniency and your child may find himself in deeper water than he can handle. Each parent will have to determine how much discipline is necessary to keep your young teen on the right path.
Waging a war with your teen-ager will not stop their process of pulling away from your control. Your teen is likely feeling guilty inside for his seeming disobedience of his loving parents. They do not know why they are having these feelings; they just know they need to make their own decisions.
*Survival tips for parents and teens*
~ Remember to say "I love you".
~ Work out compromises that both sides can live with.
~ Keep your sense of humor and use it often.
~ Teens, respect your parents decisions.
~ Parents, respect your teens need to make their own decisions.
There is no mystery in why a teen pulls away from their parents. It is part of the growing up process. Both parent and child will look back, in the ensuing years, with fond memories of those tumultuous teen years. The parent will breathe a sigh of relief that those trying times are in the past. Your former teenager will finally remember your sage advice, and apply it to raising their children.